I was going to start off with a quirky little joke about how we're all gathering into a Zoom video conference together, but I was sickened by my comedic ineptitude.
There is good news, though:
This is Dr. Anthony Cardillo, and he says he's had massive success treating COVID-19 patients with a cocktail of hydroxychloroquine and zinc. Given the distrust many have shown towards the anti-malaria drug, I was skeptical. I understand there are grifters taking advantage of this moment in history, but Dr. Cardillo seems to check out. He's been on the front lines of the Los Angeles COVID-19 outbreak for weeks according to multiple media outlets, and his demeanor matched that of a cautious professional, not a spotlight-seeker. While Cardillo did say he's seeing positive clinical responses to the aforementioned combination of drugs, he warned against overprescribing hydroxychloroquine, because there are people that need it regularly for ailments other than COVID-19.
Of course, the medical and journalism communities despise the touting of any drug without successful clinical trials, but I think the vast majority of Americans are smart enough to know the difference between a discussion, and a recommendation to consume a drug. We should always consult expert medical professionals before ingesting any medicine, but the discourse and trials surrounding hydroxychloroquine and other remedies seems paramount as we inch toward a vaccine.
It should be helpful for the media, and public, that a medical professional - who seems to serve no particular political party, and who's been testing and treating COVID-19 patients for weeks - touted this remedy on a traditional media outlet, LA news station ABC 7. Each aspect of this story seems to carry the stamp of legitimacy everyone's been yearning for.
We'll see how it's covered throughout the week.
For now, let's dive into WILTW.
Rant of the Week - Tim Dillon's open on this week's The Tim Dillon Show podcast.
Dillon is currently the funniest comedian on the planet, and his sensibilities match this bizarre time perfectly. The point that struck me the most? Dillon's joke, or opinion, that the American economy will be just fine, because we simply value buying things over human life. Hyperbole, maybe, but think about some of the things that've happened in this country in the name of keeping cash flowing in. The people surrounding Bill Cosby helped him get away with serial rape for years because he was the biggest cash cow in comedy and TV. Everyone knows the Harvey Weinstein story. Dark Waters (2019) exposed DuPont for poisoning the water supply of (literally) countless people in its production of Teflon, and they've settled 3,550 personal injury claims since that fiasco began. All in the name of the dollar, baby. Why would Coronavirus be any different? Guess we'll find out.
Devin Booker disses the Suns, and you're a shill if you think otherwise - "Because NBA 2K has my player messed up," is the new "I did not have sexual relations with that women."
Why do we have to pretend this is anything other than it is? Devin Booker, in a moment of vulnerability and peer pressure, said that he didn't want to play NBA 2K as the Phoenix Suns. He laughed, threw back his head, and acted like Michael Porter Jr. was ridiculous for even suggesting such a thing. That's probably because the Suns are third-to-last in the Western conference, and their second-best player is either the guy who missed half the season for a diuretic suspension, or a guy known more for dabbing and fashion than playing. Are we so sensitive that we can't fathom Devin Booker knowing what we all know about this team?
Rex Ryan called Amari Cooper a bad word - Rex Ryan, whose entire brand is being the ex-coach you'd like to have a beer with, talked exactly how he'd talk if the cameras weren't rolling, which means TV executives and Twitter people had a five-alarm meltdown.
Ryan was shamed, and we got this cringeworthy apology a few hours later.
Now imagine: Grown men made up this entire situation. A grown man called Amari Cooper a turd. Grown men got on their high horses and shamed the turd-calling grown man on a website called Twitter, some even doing so with emojis. And, a grown man had to put on makeup, pretend to be somber, and prod an apology out of Rex Ryan on Sports Center. If aliens were studying us, they'd dedicate an entire chapter of the book to the weird charade we all do in sports media. What a joke. I think Amari Cooper, who just got a fresh $100 million dollar deal, can handle a guy known for being flamboyant calling him something kindergarteners call each other.
Bill Belichick proves we have our election process all wrong - If you went outside this weekend, you obviously forgot to watch the most inspirational social distancing PSA since that NY Times journo melted down on Twitter last week:
Lifeless. But, you know what this tells me? We have our election process all wrong. We vote for these politicians based on debates, charisma and rallies. Why? Those things have nothing to do with making decisions, which is what their job is after all. Bill Belichick is the most unelectable man in America because he's anti-fluff. Imagine Belichick at a political rally? He'd break out a white board and discuss the importance of replenishing our infrastructure in monotone, while Trump breaks out a megaphone and nicknames him "Boring-Bill!" Disaster. Yet, Belichick is one of the best decision makers we've ever seen in sports, and surely if he put his mind to it, he could make decisions in the larger frame of life. I'd argue most great decision makers are Belichickian. They're usually socially awkward, introverted, deep thinkers. Yet when it comes time for an election, we ask who does the best impression of a politician? Yuck.
Stat prediction for this year’s Arizona Cardinals:
Kyler Murray – 4250 | 25 TDs | 14 INTs
Kenyan Drake – 1100 yds | 300 receiving | 6 TDs
Larry Fitzgerald – 700 yds | 5 TDs
Deandre Hopkins – 1100 yds | 9 TDs
Christian Kirk - 800 yds | 2 TDs
Where to Eat - Pizzeria Bianco
This is some of the best pizza in Phoenix, and the second-best Neapolitan style pizza in the state behind Pizzicletta. They're open for takeout, and during these times, I am doing whatever I can to make sure that the local businesses who put in the work to be delicious and different are rewarded. Bianco won't let you down.
That's all, folks.