Week Zero of the college football season is like staying up all night to party with your friends and all of a sudden you hear birds chirping outside.
Cheap fun. There are (minimal) enjoyable moments. But more bad decisions are made.
Such as taking Utah State (-26) against a UConn team that has won three games since 2019...
Last week, I shared four picks for the universe to take and run with. I will be accountable for my actions and update my weekly record for the rest of the season.
Record to date: (1-1-2).
Week One... LET'S GO!
Between Thursday and Labor Day Monday when you're painfully realizing you have to go back to work, take note that there are 83 college football games to gamble on.
Odds courtesy of DraftKings Sportsbook.
Here are four picks that I like.
Stay focused on the prize.
The two biggest pieces of eye candy this weekend are #11 Oregon vs #3 Georgia (-17) and #5 Notre Dame vs #2 Ohio State (-17).
Hey, Touchdown Jesus - Seventeen points?!?! MAJOR red flag alert. How is the "fifth" ranked team in the nation getting 17 points in Week One?
Former Georgia Defensive Coordinator now Oregon Head Coach, Dan Lanning, didn't bring one assistant from Athens to Eugene. Weird... Oregon transfer quarterback Bo Knix will be badass to watch during the naughty hours of #PAC12AfterDark this season.
The only things I can't stand more than 15+ point spreads are the Los Angeles dodgers and their fan base. I don't want any part in these games. But like that (unnecessary) third or fourth slice of pizza, that everyone's been guilty of consuming before, there's I chance I cave and lay the points with Ohio State.
Thursday; West Virginia (+7.5) vs #17 Pitt (-7.5) aka Backyard Brawl.
If a fortune teller walked into the USC quarterback room in 2019 and told JT Daniels and Kedon Slovis that they'd be battling each other a few years later in Pennsylvania, they'd both look more confused than Steve Sarkisian did at the 2015 pep rally.
Pitt is the presumed ACC darling. Clemson might have something to say about that. They lost Kenny Pickett to the Steelers. Biletnikoff Winner, Jordan Addison, transferred to Southern California.
West Virginia is 64-59-2 ATS in road openers. JT Daniels, don't let me down. WVU (+7.5)
Boise State (+2.5) vs Oregon State (-2.5)
Both teams underachieved with seven wins last season. The Broncos are in their second season under Andy Avalos. In their last 14 games against PAC-12 competition, Boise State is (10-4) outright in those games.
Oregon State went 6-0 playing in Corvallis last season. They lost their leading rusher last season in BJ Baylor to the NFL.
Give me BSU (+2.5) and even consider sprinkling some scratch on their ML (+120) if you're feeling feisty.
Utah State (+42) vs #1 Alabama (-42)
I mentioned earlier how it's easy to fade teams that have enormous spreads. Utah State struggled last week against a Jim Mora Energy-infused Huskies team.
The Aggies might have been suffering from the early season jitters. How do you expect to cure that playing in Bryant-Denny Stadium?
Edge rusher Will Anderson is a Heisman candidate and could've gone number-one overall in last spring's draft. Bryce Young won the Heisman but lost Jameson Williams and John Metchie III.
The biggest question is how fast can Alabama score 42 points and will the backups play the entire fourth quarter? The Crimson Tide faces Texas next weekend.
This game could be ugly. The last four Nick Saban teams favored by 35+ points or more have outscored opponents 237-27...
Don't punish me Gambling Gods; Bama (-42).
Other notable games to consider:
Arkansas (-6.5) over Cincinnati. Luke Fickell and the Bearcats had a magical run last year but Arkansas is more talented.
I never wager on SDSU Aztecs football or basketball. But if I was, the buzz around the debut of their brand new stadium will be intoxicating. Some would consider o46.5 vs the University of Arizona.
Illinois (+1.5) vs Indiana. Brett Bielema gets his guys right.
UCLA (-23.5) vs Bowling Green. Hollywood is filled with infidelity stories all the time. USC gets a lot of the brunt for joining the Big Ten in 2024 but who is quietly right behind them? The Bruins!
Chip Kelly has been taking note of SC bringing in Lincoln Riley, Caleb Williams, and Jordan Addison. Dorian Thompson-Robinson is set to start his 9th season under center for the Bruins and I'd bet on experience against a MAC team.
LSU (-3) vs Florida State (+3). "MY FAMILYYYYY".
We can ridicule Brian Kelly's fake southern accent all we want. He sounded like Andy Bernard on the Murder episode of The Office.
But what we can't make fun of is his impeccable last 40-game stretch as a favorite. BK's (40-0) as head coach when favored.