The Freaks with Kenny & Crash

The Freaks with Kenny & Crash

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Steve Keim, Uncle Rico, and the Hokey Pokey

You put your Bosa in, you put your Kyler out, you put your Bosa in, and you shake it all about. You do the Stevie Keimy with questions marks abound. That’s what it’s all a-bout.

Songs from my childhood aside, this is a very astute summary regarding Steve Keim’s handling of the media circus surrounding the #1 overall pick in the upcoming 2019 NFL Draft. There’s one thing that’s for certain: I genuinely don’t think the Cardinals know what they’re doing. This isn’t a knock on the franchise. Nobody needs to remind anyone of how putrid this front office has been.

Steve Keim has some Uncle Rico qualities. If you haven’t seen Napoleon Dynamite, shame on you. Uncle Rico is a character living in the past which include his “glory days” as a high school football player. I’m going to give you two quotes from the movie and explain what Steve Keim would have said if he were playing that part. Here goes:

Uncle Rico: How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.

Steve Keim: Listen guys, I was responsible for drafting David Johnson in the 3rd round of the 2015 NFL Draft. Yeah…..you can still trust me to find diamonds in the rough. Don’t worry about the Brandon Williams, Chad Williams, etc. I got this now. You can trust me to do the right thing with the number one pick in each of the rounds for the 2019 NFL Draft. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.

Uncle Rico: Back in '82, I used to be able to toss a pigskin a quarter of a mile.

Steve Keim: We made the NFC Championship game in 2016.

When it comes to the first overall pick in the 2019 NFL Draft, let’s just say, Allstate Insurance wouldn’t sponsor the capabilities of Steve Keim and Michael Bidwill’s hands.

Until Steve Keim et al can prove that their competency level is above a C- regarding talent judgment and free agency signings, they’ll be Uncle Rico to me…..Living in the past, hoping to catch a lucky break to travel back in time and have their coach let them in the game to throw the game-winning touchdown pass in the State Championship game.


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